It hit me this week.
I was rambling down a muddy path with the autumnal leaves falling behind me when I was struck by a story I had read about how being outdoors made people happier.
I breathed in the air and reflected on the fact that I had become one of those city bugs who roll out of their office and huddle back to their terraced houses. This was further accentuated by the sheer awe I felt at the sight of a field full of horses. Gosh, it felt so long since I'd seen a sight like that. I hadn't even realised. I'd broken out of my cyclical cloud to remember a life I once had.
The real world. Cold, hard concrete with glistening floors and typed conversations.
They say you don't miss something until it's gone.
The trouble is, ambition and determination are stronger than childhood fantasies. Compromise is for later life, for days when I fight as a feminist to juggle all pots and pans.